


Just Another Day

by domo (aroceu)



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Gen, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-11
Updated: 2010-12-11
Packaged: 2017-10-28 07:38:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroceu/pseuds/domo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Super Junior cliches, condensed into one story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Another Day

Eunhyuk moaned into Donghae's arms as he enveloped him, feeling every fibre of his being. Yes...  _Yes._  This was good. This was amazing. This was the best sex that the man had ever had.

"Ahem."

Eunhyuk continued grinding his hips against Donghae's, enjoying the feeling of the other man's skin against his own. Yes... this was perfect... his little fishy... he was his own, he was Eunhyuk's, he was no one else's... Eunhae was totally meant to be... Eunhae was perfect for each other.

"Ahem."

His mouth found Donghae's earlobe and nipped them childlishly, almost as if they were in a cliche fanfiction. Donghae moaned and his skin rippled against Eunhyuk's fingertips. Eunhyuk's fingers trailed downward on Donghae's chest, playing with his nipples, slowly going more and more southward...

"A _hem_."

"What?!" Eunhyuk demanded impatiently, turning around.

Kibum was standing there with a poker face on, watching them.

"It's  _my_  turn with Donghae," he told Eunhyuk.

Eunhyuk narrowed his eyes at Kibum. "Five more minutes."

"Hyukkie... keep on going... I want to continue moaning your name... Hyukkie..." Donghae whined. Eunhyuk didn't bother mentioning that Hyukkie really wasn't his name (neither was Eunhyuk) because, of course, he liked whatever nickname Donghae had for him. They  _were_ Eunhae after all. He wouldn't even mind if Donghae called him anchovy... though monkey would be a little weird.

Kibum shook his head, his gaze still fixated on the pair. "No."

"Come on! We can get a lot done in five minutes!" Eunhyuk pleaded.

Kibum decided that it was his turn to take action, and grabbed Donghae's arm and pulled him up from the ground. Donghae giggled childishly as Kibum took him into a closet.

"It's Kihae's turn now," he said to Eunhyuk, before shutting the door.

\--

Somewhere else in the dorm (because that's where everything happened, naturally), Kyuhyun was playing Starcraft while Sungmin was busy trying on pink pieces of clothing.

"Omigod! Kyuhyun! Do you think this looks good on me?" Sungmin asked, pulling out a pink-and-white striped shirt.

Kyuhyun didn't look up from his computer, focused on his computer game. "Sure, Min," he said, using the little nickname he came up with for Sungmin because of course, all lovers had to have a nickname for their partner.

Sungmin looked through his closet and pulled out a horrendous pair of pink pumps. "How about these? Do you think these match my eyes?"

Kyuhyun still didn't look up. His life revolved around Starcraft. Clearly.

"Yes, hyung."

\--

Somewhere  _else_  in the dorm, Kangin and Leeteuk were busy talking about their children.

"My babies!" Leeteuk was crying over and over again. "My babies! My babies! My babies!"

Kangin stared at him. 

"As far as I know, Leeteuk, you don't have a uterus. I doubt you have babies."

"No! All the other members! They're all my babies!"

All of a sudden, Leeteuk started crying, completely out of the blue. Kangin stared at him, and wondered why he picked Leeteuk, out of all people to be his boyfriend. He didn't want this anymore. He didn't want to hang out with Leeteuk anymore. Leeteuk, the emo child, the angsty leader of their super hot Korean boy band.

"I'm going to go get drunk and get a DUI," he told Leeteuk, before leaving the dorm.

Leeteuk continued crying in his angel-patterned bedsheets.

\--

In the kitchen was Ryeowook, busy making some pastries for all the Super Junior members. Decked out in an apron and a checkered red-and-white shirt, he mixed the eggs and flour and hummed happily. 

"Hi my Wookie!" Yesung called happily, skipping into the kitchen all of a sudden. Ryeowook turned around and grinned to his boyfriend.

"Hi Yesungie!" He dropped the food on the counter, and the bowl conveniently landed right side up. Ryeowook sprung into Yesung's arms and they kissed passionately, Yesung's arms wrapping around the other man's.

\--

Kyuhyun was still playing Starcraft and Sungmin was still trying on his pink clothes (and occasionally spazzing out every time he saw a stuffed animal laying in their dorm room, because "Stuffed animals were so  _cute_! Just like me!" when all of a sudden, Zhou Mi burst into their room.

"Kui Xian!" he cried to Kyuhyun. "Kui Xian Kui Xian Kui Xian! Aren't my legs so fabulous!?"

Kyuhyun didn't turn around. His mouse clicked all over his computer screen, as he controlled his Zerg around.

"Yes, Mimi," he said, using the nickname he came up with for Zhou Mi, too. Zhou Mi was, after all, a gentleman.

Zhou Mi pouted. "Kui Xian, you didn't even turn around!"

"Zhou Mi, what are you doing in here anyways?" Sungmin asked suddenly, a detectable subtle in his voice.

Zhou Mi seemed partially offended at Sungmin's words. "I'm Kyuhyun's boyfriend! Duh! Now now now Kui Xian," he turned to said boyfriend, "what do you think of my Luis Vuitton shoes and my  _totally_  fabulous Gucci handbag?"

"Mm," Kyuhyun replied.

"You aren't Kyuhyun's boyfriend!  _I'm_  Kyuhyun's boyfriend!" Sungmin said haughtily, jabbing a finger into his own chest.

Zhou Mi snorted. "Yeah, you wish."

"I saw him first!"

"But I flirt with him more."

"Do not!"

"Do so!"

"Do not!"

"Can you guys be quiet?" Kyuhyun said suddenly, interrupting their argument. "I'm going to go do math homework now."

\--

As Kibum and Donghae did their ~business~ in the closet, they could hear poundings on the door from the outside.

"Fishy! My fishy! I want you back!" Eunhyuk was sobbing.

More poundings came.

Donghae removed his mouth from Kibum's for one brief second and turned his head around to the door. "It's okay my monkey! I'm coming soon!"

"Are you?" Kibum asked worriedly in the darkness of the enclosed room.

Donghae shrugged and chuckled. "I'll do whatever you want me to do, Kibummie!" he giggled.

They started making out again. Eunhyuk kept on hitting the door until he finally gave up.

"Fine," he said to them. "I'm going to go practice my awesome dancing and chest-popping skills and go eat strawberries. STRAWBERRIES ARE BETTER THAN EUNHAE OKAY?!?" Weeping was heard, and then the hittings on the door finally stopped.

Kibum and Donghae continued to make out.

Then suddenly, Donghae removed his mouth from Kibum's again.

"Okay, okay, so guess what Kibummie?! The other day when we were in the car, I looked out the window and you'll never believe what I saw. Aliens!!! I saw aliens!! I swear they're going to come and get us one day, Kibummie, the aliens, they're actually coming!!"

\--

"Wookie-ah," Yesung said fondly as they made their way into the living room, Ryeowook still in his apron outfit (the cookie mix was already in the oven, so they were waiting for it to finish baking), "I just want to tell you how much I lo--oh!"

He accidentally tripped over a stray pillow in the room, sending it flying into the television. The television knocked over into the stereo system, which hit a large glass vase in the shape of an angel, sending it to crash on the floor with a huge shatter.

"Woops." Yesung stared at the mess he made.

Ryeowook just shook his head lovingly at his boyfriend.

"You are such a fail."

\--

Outside, Leeteuk could hear something crash onto the floor. Sniffling and worried, he got up from his bed, and as he dabbed his eyes, he made his way out into the living room.

Only to see a guilty-looking Yesung and Ryeowook, staring at the broken glass on the floor.

"Oh no! What happened?!" Leeteuk cried out.

"We accidentally knocked over your vase. Sorry umma," Yesung apologized.

"Well, technically, Yesungie did," Ryeowook giggled, latching onto the other's arm.

Leeteuk ran to the two men. "Oh no! Are you two okay? Did any of you get hurt?" He looked to the glass pieces and frowned at them. "Bad, bad vase! No touchy my children!"

\--

Eunhyuk walked into the kitchen, only to see Shindong at the refrigerator already.

"What are you doing, Shindong?"

"What else?" Shindong turned around from stuffing chicken legs into his mouth. "It's not like I do anything around here except eat."

\--

"You wanna touch my philtrum?" Yesung giggled. He and Ryeowook were in his room, playing with Ddangkkoma and laughing to themselves.

Ryeowook giggled as well. "No, you touch mine!"

"Touch." Yesung touched Ryeowook's lips. Then he turned to Ddangkkoma. "I'm going to touch yours too!"

"Hyung, I don't think turtles have philtrums."

Yesung turned to Ryeowook.

"That's what they  _want_  you to think."

\--

As Kyuhyun studied Calculus, Sungmin and Zhou Mi were still arguing about who got Kyuhyun, because they both loved him so dearly and the damn fangirls won't make up their minds whether they shipped Qmi or Kyumin more.

But all of a sudden, Zhou Mi stopped when he hit his finger against the table, and cried out, "Oh no, I broke a nail!"

"You almost made my stuffed animals fall, too!" Sungmin grabbed a stuffed bunny from said table and hugged it. "The poor bunnies!"

Kyuhyun muttered to himself about why he always had to get paired with such girly men.

\--

"Hey Teukie," Heechul said suddenly, popping his head out from his bedroom to talk to his leader, who was busy moping in the living room about not being a good enough leader. "Siwon, Hankyung and I are fucking. In case you wanted to know."

Leeteuk cried harder.

\--

"Well since I have nothing else to do..." Eunhyuk rummaged through his DVD collection in his bedroom. "Aha! I found it!"

On the cover of the DVD read "PORN PORN PORN - ALL THE PORN YOU CAN IMAGINE."

"Yes. Eunhyuk/Porn is my new OTP," Eunhyuk said gleefully.

\--

Sungmin was still hugging his stuffed bunnies and picking which one he wanted to hug more, while Zhou Mi was busy fussing over his broken nail and had to put his 2.88 million won Gucci handbag down in order to get a nail file from his tight black pants.

Kyuhyun was multitasking. Between studying math and playing Starcraft.

All of a sudden, Yesung randomly came into his room, with Ryeowook giggling behind him. "Touch!" he said, running up to Sungmin and rubbing a finger over his philtrum. "Touch! Touch! Touch!" He did the same to Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun, before leaving the room.

None of the other members really did anything. They were so used to this, anyways.

\--

Donghae was busy kissing the side of Kibum's neck when Kibum suddenly broke apart from Donghae.

"Kibummie?" Donghae looked up at Kibum with his large, fish-like eyes.

Kibum bowed his head down. "I'm sorry Donghae. I have to go. I... I have to go... act in a play."

"But you can't leave me!" Donghae exclaimed.

Kibum shook his head. "I have to. I'm sorry."

"WAHHH!" Donghae's eyes filled up with tears. He ran out of the closet and into Eunhyuk's room, where Eunhyuk was busy jacking off. Donghae threw himself into Eunhyuk's arms.

"Hyukkie, Kibummie's leaving me! Again!"

Eunhyuk smiled to himself. This was his favorite part of Kihae.

\--

Siwon was busy taking Hankyung's pants off while Heechul was kissing the side of Hankyung's face, when Hankyung suddenly stopped, pulling away from Heechul to look at Siwon.

"I am is are bored," he said to Siwon.

Heechul blinked at Hankyung, and then turned to the third member of their orgy. "What did he say?" he asked.

Siwon shrugged. "I think he was trying to say that he's bored."

Hankyung looked between the two cluelessly, as he had always done. After all, he only knew so little Korean.

"Great!" Siwon said happily. "This gives me a good chance for me to try to convert you guys to Christianity! John 3:16, 'For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him shall--'"

"No one gives a fuck, Siwon," Heechul said to him. Then he turned to Hankyung. "I can't believe you'd do this to me, Hannie! Being bored during sex!"

Hankyung stared at him blankly.

"I mean, like, really," Heechul continued, throwing his arms around. "Like, look at me! I'm so perfect and prettier than any other girl! I mean, can you see this prettiness? And like, I love cats and you know how fabulous I look in drag and stuff..."

Hankyung continued staring at Heechul blankly.

Then he kissed him.

Siwon sighed as they made out passionately. Why was Hanchul always so married? What ever happened to Sihan or Sichul?

He got up from his bed and left to his room to go read the Bible.

\--

"Can I have my turn with Ryeowook? I don't get any other stereotypes except for our Henwook skinship," Henry said to Ryeowook, coming into their room.

Yesung sighed. "But I have Ryeowook now!" he said to him. "Why don't you like, I don't know, go call one of your Canada friends or something?"

"It costs a lot of money internationally!" Henry looked to Yesung. "Please?"

Yesung shook his head and touched Henry's philtrum. "No!" he told Henry.

Henry sighed.

"Fine. I'll just go play my violin(s) then."

\--

Kangin came back into the apartment, half drunk.

"Derp derp derp," he murmured in a slur, almost falling over. "Herpa derpa derp."

"Kanginnie!" Leeteuk ran to the other man and tackled him in a hug. "I'm so glad to see you're back!" He started sobbing.

Kangin grinned. "Herpa herpa derp."

"Oh Kangin, have you heard about our children? Yesung and Ryeowook almost got hurt today!" Leeteuk flung his arms up. "I can't bear to imagine the thought of my children in pain."

Kangin swayed and fell down on the ground.

Leeteuk was surprised that he hadn't run out of tears yet, as he cried even more.

\--

Hankyung and Heechul were in the middle of ~doing their thing~ when Hankyung suddenly broke apart for the second time.

Heechul looked at Hankyung worriedly. "Baby, what's wrong?" he asked, batting his eyelashes and looking at the other man.

"I feel like making Beijing Fried Rice right now."

And without warning, Hankyung ran out of the bedroom and to the kitchen, where the rice and soy sauce were waiting for him.

\--

Yesung kissed Ryeowook deeper, his hands moving downwards, and Ryeowook shivered in his grasp.

"W-What is this...?" Ryeowook whispered as Yesung's hands moved further.

Yesung grinned. "This, Wookie," he told him, "is sex."

Ryeowook looked at Yesung with wide eyes and blinked. "Sex? What's that?"

"You see, Ryeowook, sex is what happens when you feel good when I touch you here--" Yesung's hand moved towards the other man's crotch and Ryeowook turned a deep shade of red "--and make you want me to do things to you. And then we do them. That's what sex is."

"B-But I still don't get it..." Ryeowook murmured, and let out a squeal when Yesung kissed his collarbone.

Yesung kissed Ryeowook's perfect little cheekbones that were so perfect and made Ryeowook look so cute because his cheekbones, his cheekbones were the best part of Ryeowook, his most outstanding feature, that made Ryeowook truly unique. "It's okay Wookie..." he said softly. "You'll get-- oh!"

He suddenly tripped over a stuffed animal on the ground, ruining the mood. Ryeowook muttered something about Yesung being a fail. Yesung muttered something about stupid Sungmin leaving his toys laying around.

\--

Leeteuk decided to call a meeting with all the Super Junior members, because the only sensible thing to do with fifteen very gay men wandering around a large apartment room was to have them grouped together.

Hankyung and Heechul came in with their arms linked, Heechul busy eating a bowl of fried rice, with Siwon trailing behind, the Bible in his hand. Ryeowook walked in with an arm around Yesung and another around Henry, both of whom were glaring at each other. Sungmin and Zhou Mi were still busy arguing as they filed in next, followed by Kyuhyun who had the sense to bring his laptop with him, math textbook underneath. Eunhyuk was still kissing Donghae, though was interrupted by Kibum every once in a while, who would look up from the book that he was conveniently reading and peck Donghae on the cheek, lovingly. Donghae seemed to enjoy it all.

Kangin fell onto the couch next to Leeteuk, still slightly drunk. He giggled and curled his knees to his chest.

Leeteuk wiped a tear from his eye as he looked around to all the members. “My children…”

“You don’t have children, Teukie!” Kangin giggled. “You’re a—hicc!—a dude!”

“What’s a dude?” Donghae asked.

“A dude,” said Henry, “is an English term for a male, used in informality and usually with teenagers and young adults—”

“My children!” Leeteuk pounded his fist on the table again, and then looked around. But something seemed off. Leeteuk frowned.

“Where’s Shindong?”

\--

Shindong looked inside the refrigerator. Oh, if Nari were here, she wouldn’t approve at all.

He sighed to himself. In his loneliness, he had ended up eating the fridge completely empty. Why did he eat all the time?

Oh that’s right. Because it’s the only thing he ever does.


End file.
